We are pleased to announce that we will be throwing our hats into the ring for Carolina's open GM position. Here is our resume, which we humbly present to you & to Carolina.
Zack McCann & Mason Masters
Hailing from Nashville & Chicago: Combined weight: 442 LBS | CentralDivided@gmail.com | Telephone?? We’re Millennials. Don’t Call Us.
To Help the Carolina Hurricanes remind North America that they’ve actually won a Stanley Cup buy bringing butts back to seats & a winning culture to the ice. Also, our plan won’t involve using cheap nostalgia for the team everyone wishes you still were.
Skills & Abilities
Zack & Mason have the uncanny ability to judge other people’s terrible decisions. They have memorized Herb Brooks’ pregame speech from “Miracle”. They both come from hockey-adjacent families & have both successfully played hockey without falling over more than 5 times.
Job Title: Co-hosts of Central Divided
-Combined titles in NHL Franchise Mode: 74
-Combined hours simulating General Management: 43,800
-Zack has helped build multiple companies operating on multiple continents.
-Mason has never been fired from a job. Yet.
School of hard knocks, yo!
But seriously, the amount of hockey we’ve watched, played and fought over is obscene. We’re Stan Bowman & David Poile minus the Martin Erat & Teuvo Teraveinen trades. (You’re welcome on that last one)
We broadcast out weekly to our hockey hungry followers (Our Parents) and are building a tight-knit community of friends (Russian Bots) on social media. Our podcast is consumed by literal dozens of people who will be used as references after our initial interview. Plus, both of us grew up in the south, so we can say “Y’all” without sounding completely stupid.
We can’t wait to hear back from you, Carolina. Your Rick Rolls won’t stop us the way Ron Francis’ management stopped you.